


This Is Love

by meanstoflourish



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 04:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21386017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meanstoflourish/pseuds/meanstoflourish
Summary: A compilation of Juliantina one shots and minifics, ranging from angst to fluff and everything in between.1.The girls talk about Lucho's violence2.Extended scene in the van
Relationships: Valentina Carvajal/Juliana Valdés
Comments: 15
Kudos: 169





	1. Violence

**Author's Note:**

> Someone requested I translate my one shots from Wattpad, and here they are! Enjoy!
> 
> Set after Juliana and Lupita move into Casa del Valle, right after Val breaks up with Lucho. Val told Juls over the phone that Lucho got violent, and they never really talked about that, so here it is:

They collect the dishes while Lupe goes to rest.

Juliana doesn't take her eyes off Valentina, her -what was she? friend? _girlfriend?_\- while she insists on leaving the table clean.

Here there are no maids to pick up after them, and for someone so used to it, Valentina does a better job at clearing the table than Juliana does. Valentina is like that, always surprising her with her humility, with how beautiful she was inside as well as outside. Val had, from the moment Juliana met her, removed any prejudice Juliana might have had about people who had a lot of money. Or maybe she was just an isolated case.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" Valentina asks. "Do I have cake on my face or something?"

Juliana shakes her head, somewhat ashamed of being so obvious.

"It's nothing," she says. "Let me help you take everything to the kitchen."

They walk in silence, and in that same silence they start to wash the plates and cups.

Valentina soaps them up and she rinses, and more than once she looks at the girl beside her, admiring the dedication she puts on something so simple. Nobody breaks the silence, but it's not uncomfortable. Juliana likes that. The trailer park in San Antonio was always full of noise, full of children crying, fighting, shouting, all to the rhythm of the trucks that drove at all hours along the interstate.

Juliana had learned to appreciate the silence, and she liked that Valentina didn't seem to be bothered by it. And that sometimes, Valentina seemed to keep quiet to not break it.

"You didn't have to stay and clean," she mentions Val, once the last dish is put away. "You did enough with all of this." Juliana raises her hands, pointing around her, to the house so cool that not in a million years she would have imagined she'd be living in. 

"Are you kidding? I brought the food, I wasn't going to let you wash the dishes alone." She looked around the kitchen. "But I have to tell Chivis to let me put a dishwasher in here, doing it by hand sucks."

Val wrinkles her nose in distaste, and the simple action makes strange electricity go down Juliana's stomach.  
  
She's already accustomed to it, to tell the truth, because every time Val laughs, or hugs her, or tells her something beautiful, she gets the same feeling. Her chest contracts, and her throat tickles, and it seems that it was her and not El Chino who was put in an electric chair, because her body lights up like the Christmas trees she's never had.

Juliana wonders if these are the butterflies that people talk about so much, and she can't believe it took her 18 years to feel them. But she's glad it was with Valentina.

"Besides, I have like, _nothing,_ to do at home," Valentina continues. "And I don't want to go back either. I don't even want to imagine if Lucho went looking for me."

At the mention of Val's boyfriend -now ex-boyfriend- the silly smile that Juliana hadn't realized she was wearing is erased from her face. Before, she had been too excited by the news to pay attention to Valentina's words. She'd only heard that Val had broken up with her boyfriend, removing another barrier standing between the two of them, and she hadn't processed Val's words. The "Are you joking? He'd kill me." She remembers it now, along with Val's comment about "the Lucho from before."

Valentina had said Lucho hadn't done anything to her, but it all left a bad taste in her mouth.

"And what would happen if he went looking for you?" she asks.

Her mind reproduces images she saw daily in San Antonio. Purple eyes, quiet women. A neighbor's desire to fill the silence even if it hurt due to split, swollen lips. She imagines Val wearing that mask of pain, and everything twists inside her stomach.

"He wouldn't do anything to you, right? I mean, I don't...I don't know. He won't get more violent?"

"As in...hitting me? Of course not! How can you think that? He's not...I mean, sometimes he gets really intense, and we've had ugly fights before, but he wouldn't do that."

Juliana breathes a little easier. "Okay."

"How could you think that?" Val asks again, as if Juliana thinking that her ex-boyfriend could beat her is crazy. Juliana is glad it seems so to her.

"It's nothing. I just know how guys get sometimes."

Valentina looks at her, her forehead wrinkling. "How? Why?"

Juliana shrugs. She doesn't want to keep talking. It's hard for her. She was never the kind of person who raised her hand in class or talked about what she felt. But with Valentina everything is easier.

"It's...I don't know. In San Antonio I lived in the same place as men like that. At night I listened to the fighting and then the following morning the wives walked around black and blue, and nobody said anything."

"How horrible," Valentina whispers. "That's crazy."

Juliana realizes that she didn't think it was; that more or less, she accepted it as normal. In a way she had been desensitized to many things, and only now, through Valentina, had she began to see everything differently.

She had sworn that she would never fall in love, to avoid being like her mother, that she would never depend on someone like that. She had disliked everything related to sex, not only because it seemed unpleasant and invasive, but because she didn't want to end up like so many of the girls she knew, pregnant, with more babies than studies.

She had spent her entire life living in a world she wished she could escape, wanting more from the people around her than they could give. Wanting to have more than what she had. 

"And your dad...Was El Chino like that?"

Juliana doesn't know what to answer. Was he violent? Yes. Maybe. She found out later that he was a thug, a hit-man, but that didn't change his explosive mood swings, or the way a vein in his forehead inflated when he yelled at them. But she had never seen him beat her mother. Juliana herself had been slapped when she was a smart ass with him and Lupe wasn't there to get in the middle. But it was nothing like what she had seen.

"No. Well, I don't know. He wasn't like that with my mom. My parents fought a lot, but I never saw anything." Juliana had always preferred to put on headphones and escape from that house, from that world.

"Was he like that with you?"

Juliana doesn't plan on saying anything. Not only because it really doesn't matter, but because Valentina must feel enough pity for her already.

"No. Lupe got me with her chancla a thousand times more than Chino. For him I just sort of didn't exist."

"Okay." Val takes her by the hand, and a current runs through Juliana's entire arm. "And nothing like that ever happened to you? With any guy?"

A shiver runs through Juliana as she remembers El Alacrán showing up at her house - if that tiny trailer could be called that. The violence that dripped from his words when he said he was going to break her but before they were going to have a_ little party_. Nothing had ever happened to her, but it had been a very close call, and it's not something s wants to tell Valentina. What El Alacrán wanted to do to her, the way he had looked at her...that would have been worse than if he'd beat her up.

"No, nothing. I never dated anyone so..." She shrugs.

"What? Never?"

Juliana looks at Valentina. Her sky blue eyes are surprised, and Juliana doesn't know why.

"You know that, Val. I told you I've never..."

It's harder to talk about it now. Before, Val was her friend, and her words were simply sleepover material. Now, Val is the person...the woman...with whom Juliana imagines she would do those things. It's different.

"I mean," Val starts. "It's one thing is to be, you know, to be a virgin. But it's another thing never having dated anyone. I mean, I had my first date at fourteen." Her eyes turn small when she smiles, remembering something Juliana can't see. "My dad sent the driver to sit with us at the cinema, it was so embarassing I can't even tell you."

Juliana smiles. She can't help it.

"No one had ever been interested me," she confessed. "Until now."

What happens next, Juliana has cataloged in her mind as 'Val going soft'. Her cheeks turn pink, she smiles broadly, and her eyes shrink. She covers her face with her hand, and Juliana would do the same if it didn't keep her from watching Valentina.

She feels dumb, and oh, how she likes it.

"Wait," Valentina says suddenly. "That means in the pool..." Val takes a step closer, and lowers her voice. "Juls, was I your first kiss?"

Juliana thought that had been obvious, but because of Val's expression, maybe not. Juliana bites her lip, and nods. Valentina's eyes shine.

"I'm glad," she says, surprising her. "I don't know why, but I like being the only person you've kissed."

Another familiar discharge of electricity travelled up Juliana's body. At this point, she's not sure how her heart will survive the girl standing in front of you.

"Lower your voice," Juliana asks, smiling. Her mother is still in the house, and she doesn't need Lupe finding out about them just yet. 

"Okay," Val whispers, dramatically. Gradually, she grows serious again. "Was it the thing with Lucho that had you all quiet while we washed the dishes?"

Juliana nods. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you, let alone because of me."

Valentina shakes her head vehemently.

"Whatever happens with Lucho is not your fault. I should have broken up with him a long time ago. Actually, I should thank _you_ for giving me the push. What Lucho and I had wasn't working." 

_What do we have?_ Juliana thinks, but doesn't ask out loud. 

"Yeah, okay," she says instead.

Val looks at her for a moment.

"I thought you were like that because of what your mom said."

"No. That's not a now-problem."

"What do you mean?"

Juliana tries to explain herself.

"My mom wants to leave the city when she gets better, and she hasn't gotten better yet. So right now it doesn't matter." Juliana's heart shrinks every time she thinks about leaving the city, so she does her best not to.

Valentina nods, processing her words. 

"I get it. But do you know what is, in fact, a now-problem?" The playfulness comes back, and Juliana smiles in return. She's always excited by whatever Valentina cooks up, always in good spirits around her. It's the best she's felt her whole life.

"What?" Juliana asks. Whatever it is, it can't be a problem. An earthquake could hit and the house around them could burn, and she'd consider those minor inconveniences if she was by Valentina's side.

"Well, I don't know if we'll have time to watch a movie together before I go home," Val says. Juliana smiles. "Let's go to your room?" Val asks, extending her hand.

Juliana had never had a room of her own, before. Just one more thing that she has to thank the most beautiful girl she has ever met for.

She grabs Valentina's outstreched hand.

"Let's go."


	2. Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kiss inside the van.

Juliana's throat closed as she watched Valentina's eyes flood.

"Don't get like this," Juliana asked softly. She wasn't thinking her words through, all she felt was the overwhelming urge to comfort Valentina. She felt as if a hand was inside her chest, clenching her heart in an iron grip

Before she knew it, she was touching her.

She was all impulse with Valentina. All need to do things that she had never done before, that she didn't even know if she was doing well, but that she felt she would explode if she didn't do. She felt that now. She pushed Val's long light hair behind her ear, caressed her cheek with her fingers, even touched her nose with her own, in a gesture so overflowing with tenderness that for a moment Juliana didn't recognize herself.

She wasn't like that, never had been. She was not sensitive, delicate.   
  
But in front of Val she felt as fragile as crystal.

Valentina sighed.

"Well, I guess I'd rather you be away, but safe," Valentina said. "Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

Juliana smiled slightly. It hurt her too, to think that this was not going to last forever, like all beautiful things. That she would soon have to leave. But she smiled because Valentina's words made clear something that Juliana had rarely felt.

Val was putting her first.

She was putting Juliana and her safety first, at the cost of her own happiness. Even her own mother hadn't been able to do that sometimes. She'd preferred to look for El Chino when Juliana would have preferred to let him go. She moved them to Mexico chasing after him, when she would have rather stayed in Texas, and learnt to live without his shadow looming over them. But her mom didn't listen, didn't care. Valentina wasn't like that. She had always taken care of her, had told her that her problems were as important as her own. She was by her side when her mom was kidnapped, at the hospital with her afterward, keeping her company. She had even promised to help her sell lottery tickets, when they were barely getting to know each other.

Val loved her, and loved her well.

Juliana was sure of it not because the other girl had told her -and she had- but because she could _feel_ it. And it is that knowledge that caused Juliana to gently drop her hand on Valentina's neck, and slowly, cautiously, join her lips with her own.

She isn't that nervous this time.

Maybe she should be, because it's only the second time they've kissed -the second time she's kissed anyone, period. But she doesn't feel nervous, she just lets go.

Valentina tastes so sweet.

Juliana knows logically that it must be because of the strawberry lip gloss that she always puts on, but she can't help thinking that it's her, just her. Her lips are so soft as they move over hers, and she sighs before pulling away.

Val's eyes are still shining, but there isn't as much sadness in her eyes. What Juliana can see is...want. She can feel it in the air between them, that feels as though it was charged with an electricity that she had never felt in her life. In the pool...she had been worried about her mother, and that kiss had been a little respite from everything going on, just a moment where she escaped everything bad around her. But once it was over, that was it.

They left the pool, and could hardly look each other in the face.

Now, they looked straight into each other's eyes.

Now, Juliana couldn't settle for a single kiss.

She closed her eyes as Valentina leaned in, and then the sweet pressure of her lips was all she could feel. It was different than before. Where the last kiss had been paused, measured, this was the opposite. She felt the difference, the new wetness, and the sensation gave her chills. Valentina was so close; her hands rested on her cheeks, on her shoulders. They fluttered like butterflies over Juliana's body. Valentina sped up their kiss, and Juliana got carried away, let herself be guided by her.

They were breathing faster, and Juliana felt as if they had turned off the car's air conditioner. Her skin was on fire, it was hot -_she_ was hot.

She couldn't process the feeling because suddenly there was a wet touch on her lips that she recognized as Valentina's tongue, touching her, feeling her. Juliana dared to do the same and ran her tongue slightly down Valentina's lower lip as she kisses her. She had no idea what she was doing, but it felt good, it felt it so close.

Valentina's breath bounced against her lips every time they parted, and somehow she felt she was breathing her in. That she was welcoming her into her lungs to never let her go.

She wanted Val to always live in her chest, to make her home inside her ribcage.

Val took her jacket in her hands, and Juliana let her take it off her, shivering when she felt her soft hands, with those delicate fingers, on the bare skin of her arms. The contradiction killed her -the less clothes she had the hotter it was, and Valentina's hands were only making it worse.

Her skin was gunpowder and Valentina seemed to ignite her.

Valentina groaned softly, and Juliana was suddenly startled to notice that Val's tongue was inside her mouth. Juliana had never felt anything like it. A stream of electricity ran through her body, only to concentrate between her legs. Was this lust? Juliana clenched her hands into fists in Valentina's shirt, because she didn't know what to do with the need to bring her closer, when there was no closer. With the desire to touch her, to be back inside the pool with a sea of naked skin exposed before her eyes, her hands sailing to navigate between the waves.

Her hands ventured to Valentina's cheek, keeping her close. She kissed her, over and over, desperate. 

_"Here's the bag, miss._"

They parted suddenly, and Juliana could do nothing but put her hand on her chest, trying to calm her rapid breathing. Her lips felt cold all of a sudden. She bit them, wondering if Alirio could realize what had happened just by looking at her.

For some reason Juliana felt that the whole world would know, that they could see it on her face, in her mouth, as if Valentina had left a visible and indelible mark.

"Are we going to Tiberio and Silvina's house?" Alirio asked.

"Yes," Val replied with difficulty, or so it seemed to Juliana. She rested her fist against her lips, happy that she wasn't the only one affected. "We'll make a stop before."

"Very well."

Juliana looked at the girl next to her, and as soon as brown eyes met celestial blue ones, they both broke into a smile.

Juliantina reached for Val's hand in her lap -even with what had happened a few minutes ago, the greatest need she had was just to keep touching her, to feel her close, here, with her.

Valentina held her hand, and then it was easier to breathe.


End file.
